The mental scramblings of a lifelong fantasy reader gone writer.
Oh, congrats! And good luck!!!!
I just read through some of the comments. Hope you don't feel crushed or anything! I think there is some great advice in there. It hurts to put our stuff out there, but in the end, we learn a great deal. I think you've done a great job! Keep working on it and it will shine!!!
Thanks Glam. I wasn't too crushed considering I put it out there to be bashed and the bashing so far aren't as bad as the ones I've imagined. Compared to what's in my mind, the critiques I got were rather sweet. :)And there is a lot of good advice in them. I shall be revising my query in a few days after the comments have had more time to pile up on EE's blog.
Anette, I thought EE brought up really good points, and once you make the changes, your letter will be stronger. It's very courageous of you to do this!I saw two things that they didn't mention that you may want to think about. You described your protagonist as ordinary. I think giving her more of a personality might emphasize the character component of your story a bit. Also, I what you have is great as a synopsis -- something that I think is incredibly hard to write -- but it may be a bit long in a query letter. Does it fit on one page?
David - It does fit on one page, though there isn't much wiggle room. I've just revised the query to focus more on the conflict, but it hasn't shortened the length any. Still struggling with that.I think you're right about the ordinary comment. When I originally planned the story, I wanted her to seem like she could be any girl, but as it got written she came out as a courageous heart of gold sort of character and I suppose that doesn't make her too ordinary anymore does it?Thanks for your thoughts! :)
I was going to comment over there yesterday, but I really like most of what EE says, particularly about narrowing it down to the main conflict. I haven't been over there since there was just one comment, but I hope people were nice. EE is awesome and so are most of his minions, but a few of them should be accompanied by a giant grain of salt.Go you, for being brave and stepping out there!
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